变

是你变了...
还是我变了???

我不知道...

只希望你今天下午打来
不是问我妈车牌..
而是问我一句: 你病好了吗?

我这样会不会很贪心啊?

假期

我的假期只剩下几天
但我好希望快开学
我想念我的朋友..
想念到疯狂了..
哈哈!!夸张..

呼吸越来越困难了...

幸好你..

一直都在^^

我很坏..

都是我的错...
不是你的...

我害了你...

对不起....

我知道你不想听...
但...

我没有别的话说了....


都是我不好...............

not supposed to be here

I am not supposed to be here..
Still...
I am here..


I have exam the whole week....


5 subjects
5 days..


I am still recovering...


Whole sunday my heart feels very pain...
every word he said..
I just feel like crying...


After that day..
wat he said..


I felt like i did something wrong that
will affect stg FOREVER....


What to do...
What is done is  done..


hmm..
now...
even though still feel a bit hurt
because the way he speak..
like..
he was angry at me


But i guess


I deserve it ba..


I am the one who start all this right?


He became like this because of me...


I couldn't blame him...


It's wrong...


SO...


I guess that...


I should live with it...


After all...

I love  him

Exam

hmm..my exam is next week..
3 more days..
my FoM still half half..
my IT also half half
my mass com..not touched
my CSS and CCPD also..
cham la

Just received my 40% of CCPD results just nw..
81..
ok lo...still A

my Mass com...i cant get A aledi...impossible
need 87 for my finals
i think i have to aim for A- oni la..
minimum 62...

Tomolo i watchin Eclipse somemore...
Cham la..
no need study meh

aiksss

wish me luck la><

又心痛了..

我又心痛了...
我今天跟他讲电话时, 心酸酸的...
我的却很累..
我要读书..
伤风..
没心情讲电话..
我知道..
对不起..
我的错...

what is important ..

to me..
what is the most important thing is
to stay happy
to stay healthy
to stay optimistic
no matter what
I will do my best in my studies
chee...
you also must do your best..
I believe you can..
Love you always~

Busy~

Going to start busying again..
doing what???
haih.. a lot la..
List it out:

1. Video Assignment- Editing (due date: 11/6)
2. FM case study (due date: 18/6)
3. CSS response essay ( due date: 17/6)
4. Portfolio ( due date 2/7)
5. Mass Com presentation ( 28/6)
6. 30-hour Famine

wa..a lot right???
haih..today..
can say is the worst day of my life..
and my worst group I ever been into><
Why would I say that...
2 guys didnt turn up..
Cheryl is fine because she is really sick...I understand ..
But the other guy..
Tell me he will come but where is he???
only to know that he is not coming the next day by my friend><
and the 3rd one...
LATE!!!!!!!!!!!
Pls la...if you know u are presenting, and if you know you are the person who always come late to class
Wake up early and leave early!!!if u are late for 10 minutes..its fine...but 1 hour..sorry..unforgivable....!I know its raining outside and very jam..but pls make it a habit la..leave early lo>
when Ms sureka said that we are having another group assignment.. I was afraid she will say that we remain in the same group...when she said no..I was relieved....( finally...not with some useless ppl..sorry for the rudeness here..but I was really angry!!!!)

*If I offended anyone..SORRY..but I am just telling the truth><

幸福~

其实。。
我觉得幸福。。
虽然吵架。。
哭泣。。
我还是觉得幸福。。

我不会选者放弃他。。
不管多痛苦。。
我选择留下来。。

我爱他。。
虽然有时觉得很烦。。
我从来没有要怪他。。
对不起。。
如果你误会了。。

他。。
竟然问我是否要和他拍婚纱照。。
我。。
真的不懂要说什么。。
拍婚纱照。。
是每个女生的梦想。。
穿着美丽的白色婚纱。。
我连做梦也没梦过啦。。
我真的被感动了。。

^^
我真的觉得幸福。。

朋友。。
我觉得我的选择是没有错的。。
也许你们认为我会痛苦。。
就算是伤害。。
我也愿意承担。。

不是他的错。。
我们都有不同的看法。。
只要去了解。。和解。我们就没事了。。

为什么啊?

我不懂要用什么心情写这一个blog..
累？
生气？
我不知道耶。。

我觉得我的生活现在很糟糕。。
一切都乱七八糟的。。
很压力很压力。。
可是没有人能帮啊。。
我觉得读这个blog的人心里一定会想。。
她真的很多问题。。
或者。。
她想太多了。。(一个朋友时常说的）

我真得很想要一个单纯的生活，爱情。。
我不要复杂的。。
我很辛苦。。

我真的是累到一个点了。。
你说我有朋友诉苦。。
你没有。。
其实不是每一件事都能完全可以向朋友诉苦的啊。。
我也有自己的压力。。
我没有要怪你。。
我想叫你好好利用你有的时间。。
休息。。
不要去想那些事。。

人生。。
干吗要弄成这样。。
干吗把自己搞成连女朋友都不懂要怎样去面对你。。
她的朋友说。。
你那么辛苦。。
为什么还跟他在一起？
她说： 因为我很爱他。。不能没有他。。
这是真心话。。

可是每一次他伤心压力。。
向她诉苦时。。
她不懂要怎样回答他。。
要求那个。。
她反对。。
是因为有自己的原因。。
没有要逃避。。

有时。。
他说的话。。
的却伤了她。。
也许。。
她不想吵架。。
所以静静。。
因为她知道。。
只会越吵越闹。。
感情。。也会越来越糟。。

她没有答应要跟他约会。。
不是因为不想。。
只是。。
有些事情。。
她觉得比约会还要重要。。
也许你会觉得她很自私。。
可是她不想大家因为她约会。。
麻烦了大家。。

在她心里。。
永远都有些事。。
比爱情重要。。

他和她不同。。
永远把爱情放第一。。

她很怕。。
迟早会发生不愉快的事情。。
可是。。
她不懂要怎么办 。。
该怎么办啊?

Malacca~

I just came back from Malacca a few days ago..

I can still feel the tiredness of it because our assignments isn't done yet...

There is some more editing to do other than just taking those videos...

During the first day when we went there, it was quite a disaster...

Our first place to go is Orang Utan house...

But when we went there, is already 6.30pm...and the shop is closed...

Then we went to Portuguese settlement to have our shots taken and of course dinner la^^
After that, we went around town and we decided to take the river ride..
It was quite fun...
The scenery was nice too...
Later, we went to a pub at Jonker walk where we sat down and chit chat...
Quite relaxing...

The next day, we decided to go have breakfast before we went to the Duck ride...
And the next thing that happened was..
It rained!!!
Oh gosh..after that, we had to cancelled our trip to the Malacca wonderland.
After that, we decided to have our lunch ( chicken rice) and then we went back to rest..
Then we had a walk at the stadhuys and jonker walk...
Then we went back to have a shower...
After that, we go to have our dinner ( baba nyonya food)..
The worst thing was..
I was starting to fall sick...
Later they decided to go to Taming Sari tower..the view was nice~
Then we decided to walk to Jonker Walk..and my fever was getting worse..
my leg too...
And then..we went to club..
later..I couldn't stand it anymore I decided to ask my friend to send me back before they go to Mamak..I went straight to sleep after I wash up...


Sunday,
we all woke up late...
and we went to Orang Utan house for a video shoot..
Then....
We ate lunch at a western restaurant..
After eating, we walked to the shop opposite to it to have some layer cakes..
It was very nice..
I even brought back 3 pieces^^
Then we went to the Butterfly park...
haih..the condition there was bad for all the animals..
seems like no one was taking good care of it..
Then ..we head back to the house and rest and pack...
Some of them left for KL around 7 something while rest of us head back around 8.30pm

It was tiring but quite fun...^^
Thanks for all the good work guys~

bla~

looks like a long time didn't write my blog here..
so here i am..writing a few words here..
exam is here..wish me good luck!

我的心愿。。

我其实有些心愿。。
只是没说。。
如果今天是我的最后一天。。
我真的会后悔。。
因为还有些事还没完成。。

我no.1心愿是
跟你一起做你喜欢做的事情
除了那个。。其实我不知道你真正喜欢的是什么。。
所以。。
我真的想知道。。
也想跟你一起完成它。。

我no.2的心愿是
和你一起看星星
我知道很愚蠢
但是我想和你一起看。。
因为我喜欢靠在你肩膀的感觉。。

我no.3的心愿是
希望你能陪我去看orchestra
我很喜欢去那个
因为它能让我疏解压力。。
跟你一起看。。
我什么事。。
都不用担心了。。

我no.4的心愿是
不在跟你吵架了。。
对不起。。
我不是故意的。。

我no.5的心愿是
能够永远牵着你的手。。
只要你在我身边。。
就够了。。

我不想太贪心。。
5个心愿就好了。。
麒。。
我要求不多。。
你爱我就好。。
我就满足了^^

New Blog

hey guys..i Have another blog..http://renvin92.blogspot.com
pls check it out!!its another blog of mine but its for my college assignment.
hope you guys will enjoy it^^

Library

I am siting in the library doing my homework...last minute me..haha
dunno why these few days very tired like that....very dizzy a....feel like want to faint...
few days ago the quareling is making me like dying..too much to enter...to much to process...dunno what to do..
today a....my friends and I decided to make up....i didnt make up at first la..but later my friend put eye liner on me...she said i look better..i am quite happy i met them..at least i wont feel lonely la...
tomorrow we decided to wear the taylor's t-shirt..haha..i can save my time thinking what to where tomorrow lo...hehe

bad dream

Bad dream of love....
everyday in confusion...
i want to wake up as soon as possible..very tired....

Again...again...

Another day in college..
I just finished my class...
It was suppose to end at 12 pm but the lecturer let us leave early..
But there are homework to be done..
It has to be done before Friday..
I am so tired..
Not tired about so many homework but not enough sleep..
I couldn't sleep for 2 nights...
Maybe its because of the weather..so HOT!!!
Again..
another problem is him la...
haiz..I know..him....
quarrel again..
actualy.. I don't really want to blame him...
about his addiction...
I am really tired...he said...
I think..one day we will leave each other..
actualy i don't want to hear this..
I don't want him to leave me...
I don't want to leave him too...
when he said he got sickness...
that quite worry me...
he say no need to worry..
but i stilll worry lo...
The frequent quarelling about that matter really make me worry..
frankly speaking..
yesterday I am not that willing to do it..
but he still ask me too..
Actualy..
I was quite angry..
because to me...
that has to get 2 person to agree and must have the willingness..
if don't have..then
it is useless...
no meaning........
right??

College life^^

well...i have started my college life...
its friday and is already the fifth day..still finding some friends to make with..
i had made a few actualy..mostly girls la....my class only have a few guys....
haha..guys already extinct..kidding....
today also is my secondary school's sports day..i wished i could be there but i have class....arghh..and i can't go in...i dyed my hair..haiz..
hope the juniors will perform well...
and their competition too..good luck to them!!
i miss them very much too..my friends in Klang...
the lecturers here are very nice...maybe i haven't see their mean side yet..hope they are not that mean...I only get to meet 2 of the 4 lecturers..Nest week still got^^...
I hope i can survive this college life...People say if u don't know how to swim in this lake..you will drown...
SO..
HOPE I WON'T DROWN!!!
and I DON'T WANT TO!!!!
hehe..wish me luck lo....^^

离别~

明天。。有几位朋友要去ns了。。
我祝福他们。。
一路顺风啦！！
我呢？？
明天要去考undang..
希望能过关啦！
今天早上听说GSC　１　Ｕ　火灾了。。
希望我朋友们都没事啦！！
恩。。。
希望去ＮＳ的朋友们。。。
安全回来哦！！
想念你们！ｍｕａｋｚｚ！！

Next Monday...

wah...next monday is orientation day for my diploma in communication march intake at taylors...
i am a bit nervous...i scared i couldnt make any friends...
some more...i already feel the stress even though i havent start my course..
reason?
I am under Taylors scholarship..i was lucky to get that..even though 30% the first yr only..i felt thankful for the person who gave me the opportunity...but i still need to get good result..
so...wish me luck...hope everything is alright!

真的。。累了。。

对不起。。又伤你的心。。
我不是故意的。。
最近。。
有个男生骚扰我。。
我很怕提到那个东西。。
恐惧感吧。。
因为我遇到的每个男生。。
百分之六十都跟我替那个。。
我很怕。。
所以暂时不想提到那个。。
而且。。我要处理大学的事情。。
我没有告诉你那些事情。。
是因为你工作已经很累了。。
我不想你再为这件事。。
连工作也不能专心。。
我担心你。。
可是你说我觉得看戏比较重要。。
说真的。。
我很累。。
只是没告诉过你。。
因为我告诉过我自己。。
不管我有多累。。
我都不愿意跟你分开。。
我会忍。。
不管有多少东西你瞒着我。。
我也忍。。
因为。。
我相信你。。
会给我幸福。。
就算没有那个。。
我不介意。。
有你。。
就够了。。
我不敢太贪心。。
我怕太贪心。。
我会失去一些东西。。
如果可以。。
我希望。。。。。
我们。。
永远在一起。。
对不起。。不要伤心了。。

我♥你

Struggling...

haiz..i am still struggling about my future...
I know I want to study diploma in mass communication(broadcasting)
I think it will be in Taylors..but..
now..money and time is the problem..
the course cost around 45,ooo stg..
and it takes around2.5 years..
class is going to start on 29 mac..a bit too soon ya?
my father not yet talk to my mother yet..dunno what is their plan...haiz...
haiyaya...why it has to be so complicated...???

my result...

Hmm..5 A+, 2 As, 2 B+ and 1 B..means its 7 A1, 2 B3 and 1B4...haiz...should i feel happy???i am not sure ler...
I chose to take diploma in mass com...but my parents..haiz...still want me to get scholarship...
what should i do now???they want me to go overseas..where should i go ....?not sure also...
my whole path is so blury..dunno y...everyday keep thinking this and that..so tired...
but nvm....tomorrow i want to stay happy..we are having a gathering for our teachers...
at night will go to my old school for the performance they are having..
HOPE I will be happy^^

对着自己说话

我想要的
并不是真的
是永远在记忆里的梦
就算多努力
它还是像空气一样捉不到

走一步
退一步
最终还是在原点
难道
要这样走下去

要实现梦想
就要很坚强
我很抱歉
因为我不是坚强的她

要实现梦想
不是很简单
我才决定
因为你们我才放弃它

因为你们
所以我才不要你们
因我而伤心
如果你们伤心
我也伤心

爱你们
因为你们是我的家人
就算我哭了一整夜也好
就算我有多舍不得放弃
我还是为了你们而放弃

人生嘛。。

人生。。。
像一场戏。。
这是每个人说的话。。
但我不赞同。。
因为。。
戏是假的。。
而人生。。
是现实和残酷的！！！

也许。。
有些人会反对我这么说。。
但是。。
我说的是真的。。
因为。。
我的人生就是这样。。
永远都是现实以及残酷。。

还有四天就要拿成绩。。
我不是没有信心。。
只是。。
我怕现实并不是我想象的那样。。
我怕又再失败。。
如果我再失败。。
我怕我爬不起来。。

我妈。。
一直问我以后要干嘛。。
我怎样回答你啊。。
我想要读音乐你反对。。
如果我告诉你我要读大众传播媒体。。
你不是发疯？？

我决定了。。
我选择那科系是因为它跟音乐很相识。。
至少。。
我不会太伤心。。
打算选择拉曼学院。。
这样好吗？？

一旦选择了这条路。。
我不能放弃。。
千万不能。。

加油啊！

热

天气好热哦!!
突然想念工作。。
因为可以吹冷气。。
哈哈==
每晚都很难睡觉
的确。。
家里有冷气就好。。

但我也很想他啦。。
虽然只是一个星期没见面。。
但我希望。。
每天能够和他在一起。。

天啊。。嗨。。

迷路

又迷路了。。
该走这条还是那条。。
曾经有三条。。
可是。。
那条被他们给毁掉了。。
走不下去。。
我放弃了。。
现在。。
心好空。。
好像有东西消失了。。
十年多了叻。。
现在放弃。。
好舍不得。。
他们理解我的心情吗？？

剩下两条。。
第一条。。
我想要。。
可是要到那里实现它呢？？

第二条。。
我不想要。。
因为那不是我的选择。。
要怎么办呢？？

我每天都在想。。
一天到晚在想。。
很烦。。
真得很烦。。
可是。。
决定要快点做。。
因为。。
时间不多了。。
成绩大概下星期就要出了。。

曾经有个朋友。。
可以跟他诉苦。。
现在。。只能对着电脑打字诉苦。。
日子就这样过了三个月。。
他留下来的痕迹。。
永远都留在我心中。。

但我有他。。
所以我并不怕。。
我相信他。。
因为他是重要的人。。

Life in a mess!!!!!

First...i failed my exam and I have to stop YAMAHA...I dont want to stop..love music very much..i really miss them...my friends especialy..I have been 10 years there..U want me to leave..very hard....
Second...I dunno when will my SPM results is coming out..and i am very anxious about it because I dunno where will I going to be sent to....
Third...I am resigning my job...damn it...now have to think what am i going to do next..which makes me want to go mad..because i get a job so i wont be day dreaming bout all these problems....just running away..but i stil have to face it..NOW!!!!
Forth...both my parents seems like they are having different opinions....father dont mind i study mass com but hopes i take up journalism(his path once....but i want broadcasting)...and i think my mother wants me to study science subject like pharmacy or etc....(not my type, even though i am a science student)...and both of them want me to enter local u..its not that i hate them and even though they are among the top in the world...i dont see any future there in my head...i mean for myself..
Fifth..boyfriend issues....his mother knows about our relationship..and she is right...there is still a long road to go...concentrate in your studies...even becoming 'friends'..but dont do wrong things..coz..not good for both families.......i am happy with him...seems like i cant live without him...coz i will feel lonely....I know its not a right time to get into a relationship...but i want to take it slow and steady at the same time..i also dont want to lose him....its God will whether this is our destiny to be together...I trust Him that one day..i will meet my half apple..no matter i met him already or not..

Chinese New Year

wahaha..chinese new year...everyday also eat T.T..i gain weight le la...scary......i need to exercise d..haha
yesterday i followed my family back to my mother hometown(tangkak,johor) to pray grandma and see my aunt..haiz.....my uncle kena mild stroke..he aledi 60 stg...got diabetes some more...see him i also ke lian him..coz his sis also dun want go back see him..
but my big aunt more worse le....now ..because of diabetes..she blind d... cant walk...cant eat by herself..need ppl to help her....i feel sad for her..now she have to wash her kidney everyweek also ....haiz....i am very scared she wont hold on that long..really scared i will loose another family member..but wat choice i have...ppl still will leave this place one day..it is the circle of life...right??
i have been thinking seriously these days whether to stop my music or not..coz i failed my exam for the 4th time...my cousin suggest i go study business management..hmm.....
hehe..yesterday i ate strawberry..but this type different o..big big de..and sweet some more..@@
my chloe...haha..sometime see her like very ke lian...coz..like nobody bother her like that...haha..but she quite smart o..hehe..can climb gate d..dunno how...from back can climb until infront...haha....cute chloe..love her very much....and also...yean chee....hmm..i dunno y..feels like i am not ready yet.............T.T

what is happening???

Yesterday i made my family quarrel again..ya..it is always my fault.....but i couldnt understand why he always choose to avoid it every time..always choose a solution that will only cause more anger in my heart...he thinks everything must use violence....even though it will not solve anything at all..
today i am going late to work..probably will work till midnight....so tired....last saturaday and sunday i was sitting at box 6...but i need to say something...to customers:"there are no emergency lanes ok???if have reservations..pls go to gold class....and pls dunn cut Q....and box 6 or box 1 is not any information counter also..stay in line and wait for your turn....." ==
my head keep spinning since yesterday morning..dunno y...???having weird dreams lately too..even though ppl said that dreams are nothing..but since i was a kid..i dream almost everyday..and sometime..i can even remember it....that sucks...and makes me tired....
i hope when in the future..i wont have a family which only sees money as a factor to stay together....i dun want a family that is left with only responsibility but no love at all.....money is important..but not as important as support and love to our love ones..right???

MY life......

What is my life going to be if I give up my dreams now and follow what my parents say???Will it turn up right....????
我只是想完成我的音乐梦想。。。。。我知道我并不特别。。。。没有像别人（周董，方文山）那么特别。。但是。。我爱音乐。。。那还不够吗？？？音乐。。。它。。。能给大家快乐。。。悲伤。。。。还有千多种的心情。。。对吗？？？
你。。当初。。。。是你要我学音乐的。。有一次。。我很想放弃。。。我还跟你们吵架了。。。你们还是逼我去。。。我听了。。我去。。。现在。。我要学更多有关音乐的东西。。你却说要我越早完成越好。。。。你到底要我怎样。。。如果你那么么不想要我爱上音乐。。。。那为什么当初带我去学。。。我在想。。。你未必太自私了一点啊？？为了他还有你自己退休以后的钱。。竟然要我放弃音乐？？？你那么不相信我的实力吗？？？你为什么总是爱把我跟别人拿来比啊？？？我是你女儿。。。。你要相信我！！！而且。。你真的有时伤了我的心。。。竟然说你们一分钱也不想出让我读大学。。。。。你们知道。。。。你这样说。。。让我想。。你们是没有在自持我的。。。。为什么你们要这样啊？？？